Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
