Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
