This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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