If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
