ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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