If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
