that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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