quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize