She's JV to your varsity
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
