i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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