you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
