don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
