Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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