Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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