so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
