Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
