I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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