That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize