i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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