If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
