you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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