For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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