i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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