My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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