They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
