One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
