are you still at the devil's house?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
