is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
