I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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