i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
