its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
