Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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