dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
