similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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