Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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