lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize