i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dignity is for republicans.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize