Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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