dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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