We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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