dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize