The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
