I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
