no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
