I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Randomize
