Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize