Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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