I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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