Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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