I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
