Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
