The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
