Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
