i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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