Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
