Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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