I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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