i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
