I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
