just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
